Tweety Tweet

Seeking, hardship, languid, forcible, uppermost, contrarian, forgo. Create, level, forget, misery, puritan, horseshit, fuck you, dwindle, piddle, poop. Ulterior, forbidden, muscular, multivalent, organical, maniacal, creative, horseshit, devilry, puritan, piddle, shitface, dwindle, twiddle, fiddle, minuscule, momentary, arbitrary, creation, carbon, cartoon, force, meter, metric, burgeoning, fierce, fragile, medical, mercenary, yearbook, yardstick, hopeful, hardwod, musclular, biblical, typical, forensic, fogetful, momentary, contrite, biscuit, bisquick, spittle, harbinger, devil, decent, disc, prick, trick, mick, dick, prick, oldsmobile.

Jersey, shore, mercury, middle, man, merciful, mercurial, carbonified, estuary, prizefighter, dupe, organ donor, horsefly, bigot, raid, maid, paid, flayed, lacerate, missle, arbitrate, carbonaceous, bigamist, harpy, moorish, boorish, cartoonish, fiddler, piddler, twiddler, bigger, bolder, older, futz, clutz, putz.

Pulling Teeth

Writing for the sake of having written, ie. keeping a daily blog because it’s good for your mental health (or whatever), even when you have nothing in particular to say, doesn’t have a super load lot of appeal for me. I’m told it’s good for you, I’ve even told other people it’s good for them but when I sit down to do it, it’s an obligation and boring and not much fun at all.

I don’t have anything to say about my day that I can really say at all, since my work is 100% confidential. And in lieu of a day’s worth of events to natter about, what does one blog? I don’t think the world needs any more hot takes or barely educated opinions on the myriad subjects that writers write about and I don’t have an intrinsic burning need to express myself or my ideas.

I’m past the stage of figuring out how life works or what it’s about and am now in the long phase of knowlingly enduring decades of life’s absurdity because the only thing stupider than being alive is killing yourself.

Enlightenment is for Fools

I am now convinced that it is psychologically destructive to reach any semblance of enlightenment too soon in life. I don’t think it’s something that one should strive for, perhaps at all. There’a reason why traditional societies reserved the end of life for the search for enlightenment, because doing so, and attaining a real sense of both relativity and futility utterly undermines your ability to function in the world. Or, it can, if you’re of the wrong disposition, which I am.

It’s all well and good to see the projection and delusion on which human psychology is based, the insanity of cultural practices that is the direct equivalent of pigeons being taught to dance for snacks. (How else do you explain ritual of any kind, be it baptism or applying for a driver’s license? A long heuristic of symbolic gestures which magically bring about some desired outcome but which are not at all necessary for its attainment.) But once you have seen it, it is very difficult to continue to play along, to believe that what you’re doing is anything but arbitrary food-dancing that in reality you have no need of doing.

This is a personal disater when one lives in a world built on the hamster wheel, in which one can only run if one believes that the effort is actually contributing to something or real value. There are corporate hamsters who genuinely belive that the religion they have been indoctrinated into is real and that their actions are therefore important (or at all meaningful). This is pure fantasy because the structure of which they are a part, typically something administrative, produces literally nothing at all and has no meaning outside of their own belief that it is meaningful. (Some amount of administration is necessary, but a workshop full of competent wokers does not need a manager to keep them on track.)

If you lose this sense of meaning, it is literally impossible to keep running. And if you can’t keep running, you can’t make money, and if you don’t make money, you’re fucked. Which is ridiculous and insane, but utterly and undeniably true. So, in the world we currently inhabit, enlightenment is bad for your health.